Afraid of Greatness

"Your not Qualified"
"You have no experience"
"Your too old"
"Your not smart enough"
"It's too late for you"

I have said the above phrases and many more stopping myself from greatness, sadly I have told myself so many of these things that I have started to believe them. Even, as I type this blog in the back of my mind I'm thinking no one going to read this. See, I have set myself up for failure with my own thoughts. Well guess what? That ends today.

I think it all started my senior year of high school, I was a Honor Roll student, Drill team Captain for two years, Highest Ranking Female in ROTC, overall a pretty social and happy teenager; except one thing, I couldn’t pass the math portion of the TAAS test (the standardized exit exam in the 90's). I tried and tried and I always came up short by a point or two. As a result I kind of just coasted through my senior year. I didn’t go to many parties or a lot of senior events because I just felt like it would be waste of time. Luckily, there were two teachers who were determined to see me graduate on time with my class, my drill team sponsor Ms. Cheryl Allen and Mr. E. King. These two came up with a schedule and plan that consist of me studying with Mr. King in his freshmen algebra class and Ms. Allen would help me out with any assignments he provided for the week. Lets, just say this combo along with my family helped me achieve greatness and I’m forever grateful. However, even after passing that truly unnecessary standardized test and graduating on time with my class, somewhere deep down fear decided to take up residence in me and rear its ugly head from time to time.

You name it , I've done it. I talked myself out going off to college to pursue my dream of studying dance and voice because I didn't think I as smart enough (I did go to community college received an wonderful education), taking a job out-of-state cause I would be alone, trying out to be Dallas Mavericks Cheerleaders (my poor Cledus really wanted me to try-out too...) and the list goes on. What's really funny is that I always try my best to encourage others to pursue their dreams.

Here's one example: Two years ago my husband's daughter had just graduated with her bachelors in Human Resources. She had applied for grad school but had to way the option of staying close to home or relocating. She sat in the backseat off the car after dinner one day and literally gave us every excuse she could think of as into why she couldn't relocate for school. I stopped her and gave her a 20 min speech on what she was going to do. Once, I finished I laughed out loud and said; "where was this chick when I was younger?" Honestly, I had to grow into her.

See even though I didn't fulfill a few of my original dreams I still didn't have a shabby life. I worked for three major multi-million dollar companies, were I thrived in every position I was promoted to. Now, I contract my services out as a Group Fitness Instructor; so I guess you can say life kind of came full circle for me. I get to up everyday and do something that I love. I get to dance every single day and I wouldn't change it for the world. Yes, there are still a few of my childhood dreams that I would like to try and fulfill; and since there nothing holding  me back (other than my hubby and my lil man; just kidding) I think I will be placing them on my vision board to be accomplished in the very near future.

So the next time you feel like "I cant do it", "no one will support my dreams", "I’m getting too old". Get up walk to the nearest mirror , look yourself in mirror and say. "I am made for greatness from greatness; and I will not be afraid to be Great!"

Exquisite Mommy