"Bad Mother?"

Everyday I pray and ask God to help me to be a better mother and wife especially, a good mother. Now let's get something straight I love my child with all my heart, I would lay down my life for him in a heartbeat. His father and I really try our best to teach him all he needs to know to be a good little boy, but it always feels like when I take three steps forward with him and by the end of the week I've taken 10 steps back, which is very depressing at times.

When it comes to disciplining him I'm pretty old school, I whole heartly believe in Proverbs 23: 13-14 (read it you'll understand ) , I do try to refrain from spanking him because it really makes me feel some type of way after I have to do it; however, I figure I will discipline him now before the police try to use their discipline tactics on him later in life. (I'm just saysing)

Here are some of the reasons I feel I'm a Bad Mother:
I have no patience whatsoever (honestly, I have no pateince for some adults , lol)
I talk to him like he's a grown man and not a toddler (I don't curse at him)
I get up set when he acts as if he's not understand what I asking of him
Sometimes, I think his thinks his mommy doesn't love him, which couldnt be further from the truth.

A lot of days I wish that I could get a do over, I wish that I could get it right with him, yes there are even days were I question God in why he gave my little love to me. But then something magical happens... My little love calls my name (mommy) in his sweet  deep voice and says "Mommy!! Your the best mommy in the world" or when we're doing school work he remembers what we went over two weeks before, or he gets ready for bed and he says " Mommy I need to say my prays, Our Father in Heaven". At these moments I remember that not all my work has been in vain.

No!!! I dont always get it right, yes there are days that I feel like Im figthing a losing battle with him, there are even days when I want to give up. Then , I get still and think about one September day in 2011 when I was only few weeks pregnant. I was throwing up everything under sun , it was so bad my thorat burned from vomiting and the only comfort I received was from lying on the cool bathroom floor. My husband had come in from work and find me lying there crying, he picked me up and put in the bed and asked if I needed to go the hospital. I told him no but in reality I felt like I was knocking on deaths door. As I tried my best to get it together I remember looking up at him and saying , " I cant lose this baby". My husband looked at me and asssured me that we wouldnt lose our child. Honestly, I would have beleived the Snowman had he said the same thing, but it was the way he said it ; as if he had talked to God and been giving confirmation beofre that day every happen. I honestly dont know, but I know that though if feels like its too much for me to handle, I promised God that I would do everything in my power to make sure he was raised as God fearing man, with morals and values; someone that when others see him they see God's light shining through him. 

So this goes out to the parents, who feel like giving up, you feel like they are just not getting it and if something doesn't give your going to pull all your hair out. Remember this few scriptures:

Proverbs 22:6KJV "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it"

Proverbs 23: 13-14 NLT " Dont fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won't kill them. Physical discipline may well save them from death" (DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DONT USE YOUR BARE HANDS TO STRIKE YOUR CHILD, YOUR HANDS ARE FOR LOVING THEM; ALSO, IF YOU ARE LEAVING BRUSIES, SCARS, CAUSING BROKEN BONES TO OCCUR YOU ARE NOT DISCIPLING THEM YOU ARE ABUSING THEM. SPANKING SHOULD OCCUR AS THE LAST RESORT; ALSO DO NOT SPANK YOUR CHILD WHILE YOUR ANGRY FOR THIS IS CALLED ABUSE)

So parents don't give up, continue to do everything in your power to ensure your children become their best selves they can be.

Exquisite Mommy